Ok.  In a perfect Sunny Brook Cottage World we would not need rules.  HONESTLY, WE DON’T WANT TO HAVE SO MANY RULES!!!  Unfortunately, we live in a world where (let's be real) a lot of people do a lot of VERY stupid things.  So stupid in fact that we are left shaking our heads and wondering why their DNA have survived thousands of years of natural selection.

You may not believe it, but each of the rules below was adopted AFTER SOMEBODY did something that we naively thought that they were smart enough NOT TO DO. 

Please don’t make us come up with a new rule in reaction to something that you do that you KNOW that you shouldn’t do.  PLEASE!!!  PLEASE!!! PLEASE!!!  We know that you are smarter than the knuckleheads who made us adopt the rules below.  Please don’t prove us wrong!!!

1)  For instance, please let us know if you will be having visitors.  It's common courtesy and there is no charge for having day visitors, but we must be forewarned, and they must park their cars at the office because parking is limited at each of the cottages.

2)  Outside fires must be built in one of the two fire pits provided.  Having a fire elsewhere is illegal (and not safe!!!).  Grills are for cooking only.

3)  Do not use damp firewood, wet twigs, or green pine needles in the fireplace.  Do not roast marshmallows in your cottage's fireplace.  It makes a big, gooey, nasty mess that is very hard to clean up!!!  Also,  do not forget to keep the screen in front of the fireplace . . . and always put the poker back in its place.  Why you ask?  W e l l l l l l l l . . . because a hot poker and sparks WILL burn the carpet and we KNOW that you sure don't want to replace the carpet in the cottage you occupy.  Aren't we right?

4)  Leave the fireplace ashes in the fireplace and your charcoal ashes in the charcoal grill.  Do NOT put them in a bag, in the wood box, out in the woods, or in the dumpster.  Leave them alone (hopefully for obvious reasons).

5)  Do not use lighter fluid on open fires, inside or outside.  Seriously, if you have to ask why, then you shouldn’t be playing with matches at all!!!

6)  Pet owners:  You read the rules (located at the bottom of the sidebar on the Cottages page) and you signed an agreement.  Now just follow the rules you agreed to…it's as simple as that.  WHY?   Because there are other guests on the property, some of whom don’t like dogs, or are afraid of dogs, or are allergic to dogs.  Also, there are likely to be other dogs on the property.  If you don’t follow the pet rules, you will have to leave…no ifs, ands, or buts.

7)  Trash:  There is a dumpster on the south side of the house/office.  Either throw your trash way in the back of the dumpster, or ask us to service your cottage by using the “Service Please” doorknob sign.  Please do not let your trash pile up in the cottage; it will attract little critters.  Please do not leave your trash outside; it will attract big critters.  We don’t want either.

8)  If you need something, simply come to the office and ask.  Whether you need an extra pan for cooking, more towels, sugar, coffee packets, we will be glad to help you out and make your stay more enjoyable.  If something isn’t working—no hot water, frozen pipe or drain, whatever—let us know immediately, so we have the chance to fix it.  Trust us, these things don’t usually fix themselves, and fixing them during the daylight hours is easier than late at night.

9)  Drive slowly on the property.  The reason for this should be obvious to even the most hardcore knuckleheads.  You just don’t know when a child is going to suddenly step out into your path.

10)  If you break something, please come tell us.  We won’t scream at you.  We might have to charge you something, but I GUARANTEE you that we’ll charge you FULL price if you try to hide the damage and we find it on our own.  Just ‘fess up.

11)  If your pet urinates on the carpet, please come tell us.  We won’t bark at you.  We have stuff to treat pet stains.  The sooner we can treat the spot, the better.  If someone dirties the bedding, just bring in the dirty linens and we’ll give you fresh linens.  The sooner we can wash up the dirties, the better.

12)  If you spill a jug of Kool-Aid or something, don’t just track it all over the cottage (Yes, somebody actually did this).  If you can’t clean it up, come tell us so we can clean it up before the carpet gets all sticky.

13)  Do not throw rocks at each other (because it hurts, duh) or at anything and do not move rocks or walk/play on the rock dam.  The dam REALLY is there for a specific reason.

14)  Watch your children.  You will be held accountable for their actions and their well-being.  Besides, we have goblins lurking in the shadows that long to grab unattended children to eat at their annual midsummer’s eve festival.

15)  Fans:  We promise that there are one or two box fans in each cottage.  In #9, look behind the couch.

16)  Heaters:  Do not put clothes, towels, remote controls, or anything else on the heaters—summer or winter—because it is a FIRE HAZARD!!!.  Stuff will get charred or melted if you do this…it has happened .

17)  Don’t peek in someone else’s cottage windows.  Just because there’s no car in the driveway doesn’t mean no one is in the cottage.  If you want to see another cottage, just come to the office and ask.  That’s all you have to do.

18)  For what we once thought to be obvious reasons, PLEASE don’t run the heat with the doors or windows open.  There is a $5,000 fine if we catch you doing this . . . just kidding.  However, we do buy 5000 gallons of propane each year; we can’t afford to pay for wastefulness…and we don’t want to have to raise our rates unneedfully.

19)  We’d rather you didn’t move furniture around, but if you must move it, please put it back before you leave.  If you’re visiting family and friends in other cottages, don’t forget to take your coffee cup, plate, fork, spaghetti pot, whatever back to your cottage.

20)  Do not feed the wildlife, not even the “cute” chipmunks and squirrels.  Believe me, they can bite.

21)  Don’t lose your cottage key.  There’s a $25 fee to change the door lock if you don’t hand in your key (and we’re NOT kidding here).  Also, on the day of your final departure, bring the key to the office (or key box by the door).  That way, we know when we can start cleaning your cottage for the next guests.

22)  Don’t break branches off our shrubs and trees.  We don’t have to explain this one do we???

23)  We don’t know what Rule 23 is yet, but we are sure that there will be one eventually…please don’t be the reason for it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!